I AM BLESSED!

I like to see lots of pictures on blogs!

It's true...a picture is worth a 1000 words.
So... I have chosen to post pictures, intermittently,
of some very dear blessings in my life
It's been a stressful week.
It's been a stressful month.
Heck...It's been a stressful summer
On that roller-coaster ride of emotions
we all experience from time to time,
I have been at the bottom dip for sometime now.
I've been living all those negative emotions
that go along with depression.
Yup... pretty much been wallowing in
self-pity and self centered "woe's me"
and basically been a real drag to be around.

I think we've all been there.
I hate those times -
And sometimes... you just don't know
if you can pick yourself up and get over it.
Then.... a jolt straight from heaven,
"saying...ok....enough is enough",
opens your eyes and you realize...
that all you need to do is look to your right
or look to your left...
...and you can find someone
facing challenges much greater than your own.
Someone you would not want to trade places with.
Someone that has a "real" reason
to be depressed and low.
And that's when you realize how ungrateful you've been
and how many blessings you have
and how happy you should be...every single day.
This jolt came to me as I was sitting in the bleachers
at a softball tournament
that Sydnie was playing in, last Saturday.
I was sitting there feeling
"OH SO SORRY FOR MY POOR SELF"
Then.... a mother,
pushing her handicapped son in a wheelchair,
parked him right next to where I was sitting.
I guessed him to be between 18 - 20.
Sometimes it's difficult
to judge the age of the handicapped.
She had an Arby's sack
and she proceeded to unwrap two sandwiches
one for her son and one for herself.
As she lifted his sandwich to his mouth
so he could take a bite
It was obvious that he did not have control
over his limbs,
and could not do for himself,
what is such a seemingly simple task
that we all take for granted...

Feeding ourselves.
After each bite,
his mother would lovingly take a napkin
and wipe his mouth,
sometimes having to pick up pieces of sandwich
that had fallen out
because of a lack of muscle control in chewing.
As I watched for the first few minutes,
it was evident that this procedure
was going to be very laborious,
taking some real attention and time to accomplish.
Half way through the sandwich,
the young man started choking
and went through some violent contortions
trying to gain control of himself.
But his mother, never acting concerned or surprised,
very patiently
waited for him to regain composure,
cleaned him up a bit,
then continued the feeding process.
At one point, I noticed a piece of lettuce
that was stuck to his cheek
She hadn't seen it.
He tried several times
to get one of his contorted hands to his face,
but just didn't have the control
to get it to do what he wanted it too.
So, the lettuce stayed there
until she noticed and took care of it.
My heart went out for the young man,
and for his angel mother,
also for the Dad
sitting a couple of benches above them,
who casually added to the conversation
the mother and son were having.
I felt so sorry for all of them.
But there was no self pity in that scene,
no sadness displayed,
no signs of sorrow,
no evidence of "why me"...
only a tender, outpouring of love and devotion,
service, and acceptance.
At times there was a little laughter,
from the small group.
And just as the ball game ended
the last bite was taken.
A mouth was tenderly and carefully wiped,
clothes brushed off, a napkin bib removed,
then a sweet smile of
"I love you and would do anything for you"
given away.
Things were gathered up,
the son adjusted in his chair, brakes unlocked,
and off they went....
seeming, positively happy to be alive...
happy it was such a gloriously beautiful day...
and busily acting like they had places to go,
things to do, & people to see.
I realized that for this young man and his mother,
this scene has been acted out thousands of times,
and will continue on, day after day, year after year,
many more thousands of times.
When emotions are tender
and close to the surface
and you have been in a stupor of self absorption
and self pity for so long
thinking that you had a right
to feel so depressed
then witness such a tender
display of love and kindness,
you are jump kicked back to the reality
of how much you have,
how fortunate you are,
and how greatly blessed you are,
This is immediately followed by
an overwhelming feeling of guilt and
"what in the world was I thinking",
"just who do I think I am"
and "what right did I have..."
Then a flood of emotion pours through you
and you cannot hold back the tears.
I started analyzing my feelings and actions
thinking of how self centered I had been,
thinking of how ungrateful I had been,
then thought of how I was
able to feed myself the pizza
I had been enjoying for lunch...
...grateful my own son, sitting next to me,
was able to do the same thing
and grateful I was able to function
and accomplish even the most complex task,
unassisted.
I was grateful for sunglasses that day.
I was out of control!
True... our team was losing...
but that suddenly was NOT IMPORTANT,
and so not the reason for my tears.
Why does it take an experience like this
to shock us back into feeling and acting the way
we should be feeling everyday.
Living with an attitude of grattitude.
I was grateful for that hour in the bleachers.
I was grateful for the opportunity
to watch that "angel mother"
as she taught me, by example,
how I need to be, and how I need to feel.
Now I am sure there are many quiet,
private, heart wrenching times,
when that mother,
in moments of her own depression
and sadness
needs to be strengthened and lifted herself,
when she may not think she can go on,
when she needs a few of her own burdens lifted.
But it was obvious,
from experiencing the joy in her countenance,
that she is able to rise above any of those feelings,
and go forth, without reservation,
and serve, and tackle the challenges facing her.
I left, just a little better person that day,
after an attitude adjustment.
But sadly enough,
I know that those tender feelings
and that "lesson learned" experience
will fade with time,
and once again
I will "forget" how I should be living.
Heavenly Father must feel so sad
and so frustrated with such
a ungrateful daughter of his.
But only He,
will never give up on me,
and continue to teach me
by letting me again,
have those little "tender mercies"
like I experienced last Saturday.

This morning.. we sang...
"Thank Thee Lord For This New Day"

If nothing else...
we should be THANKFUL for each new day,
and another chance to be HAPPY, and GRATEFUL.